10 Thoughts This Week

1. I am really bad at expressing my feelings. By that, I mean expressing my feelings in a way that people can accept without being offended. When I’m angry, I tend to spew out my anger all over the place, instead of telling people nicely and straight to the point.

2 That being said, it always pays to be nice to people, even though I am extremely unhappy with them. Responding harshly with mean comments will not solve anything.

3. I don’t know why, but when I’m in love with someone, I tend to be more emotionally vulnerable towards that person. When that person makes me unhappy, or when I’m feeling unhappy, I tend to show it off more, until it puts off that person. I always end up hurting the people I love. I don’t know why I always act like this, and I always regret it because I end up losing people I love, or the person I love can never love me back.

4. Maybe that’s why I make a better friend than lover. I really hate this side of me.

5. I am in love with someone, but that someone can never love me back. I keep holding on to the notion that love can be developed and one day he’ll love me back. I am being optimistic, yet another part of me knows I am just hurting myself by hoping for the best.

6. They say, if you’re in love with someone, it’s best to take the initiative and confess. I am afraid of the consequences. I think I know what the consequences are.

7. I wish I could have an honest conversation with that someone about it.

8. I am trying too hard to be likeable. If I do things just to make people like me, I will never be happy with myself. At the same time, I am afraid of disappointing others. It’s partly why I am working so hard and always looking out for feedback.

9. I am still thinking what to do about 5, 6 and 7.

10. I’m grateful for what I have and who I am today.

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